Team Vega, You Are The Biggest Fantasy Football Loser
In Fantasy Football as in life, there can only be one winner and one loser. Our league was highly competitive, but it became clear that certain general managers knew how to play the game, while others shouldn’t quit their day jobs. Unfortunately for Team Vega, his starting lineups won only once the entire season. Team Vega came in dead last and is the biggest fantasy football loser of the year. Because of his putrid performance, he must suffer the consequences. 365 days of public shame and ridicule.
Specifically, Team Vega received a trophy in the form of a ballet dancer that must be predominately displayed in his home all year. Plus, Team Vega was presented with a license plate frame that reads, “I Finished Last in my Fantasy Football League.” His fellow best friends and fantasy leaguers were kind enough to affix the frame to his license on the first weekend of the NFL playoffs. Team Vega must keep the license plate frame on his car for 365 days, without exceptions.
Punishment Was a Stealth Mission
Team Vega’s shame of riding around town with the frame will be hilarious. But what was funnier was the Mission Impossible-inspired manner that we got the frame onto his car. We can’t go into detail here. Suffice to say, power grids were hacked, a team owner was drugged, and a grappling hook was used. Tom Cruise would have been proud. To Team Vega, you truly suck. Better luck next season. Perhaps you should read F&TS more often and learn from the actual Sports Genius of our group.
Fantasy Punishment Could’ve Been Worse
In retrospect, we could have been much more diabolical in punishing Team Vega. As the biggest fantasy football loser of the year, we could’ve forced him to purchase a Fathead of our league champion holding his trophy and place it in on his living room wall for the whole year. Or we could have gone the public humiliation route. One popular fantasy football punishment is to force the biggest league loser to go to the grocery store for three consecutive weeks. The loser must purchase a Cucumber, Vaseline, and Condoms during the busiest time of the week. Not only will his neighbors give him all kinds of weird looks, but his wife may also have some serious questions.
