Second Place in Fantasy Football Really, Really Sucks


Why did we start off this post with the infamous ESPN Magazine Ricky Williams in a wedding dress cover? Let us know if you’ve been this person before. You’re a passionate sports fan, who does all the research, anticipate the trends, and knows what’s they’re talking about. But when it comes to the world of Fantasy Football and game picking, you should be the winner, but too often you come up short. Well, it happened to the F&TS head writer this season. In both our Pick’Em and fantasy football league we lost in the finals. In essence, we’re the bridesmaid, not the bride. During our final analysis, we learned an important lesson–second place in your fantasy football season and Pick’Em sucks.

There was a reason why the F&TS head writer called his fantasy team “Me Seahorny.” Experience has taught him an important lesson–closing the deal is not his strong suit. He drives hard out of the gates but often loses in the end.


We Hate Losing

If you ever meet the head writer of F&TS, you will realize a few things about him. His hips don’t lie and he doesn’t do humility well. When the final tabulations were made, and Team Marin made his concession speech, the other members of the league were not satisfied. They felt the general manager of Team Marin fell on his sword too easily. They implored him to shade the crap out of the respective winners of our football competitions, Josh and Larry. Richie “Dick” Burns reached out to Pablo for further comment and he said to the winners,

You two pricks are lucky I was distracted by holiday family drama and my end of year work projects or I would’ve beaten each of you like you stole something. I may have lost in the end, but once again I proved who is the real sports genius of our group. I’m coming for blood next year and F&TS will be there to cover each step of my journey towards immortality.”

We need to remind Team Marin that close only counts in horseshoes. The good news is that he is sick with the result and feels no pride in coming close. He is furious at his second place finish in fantasy football and is counting down the days to next season’s draft. For now, he will just have to be content to be this year’s league bridesmaid. Congratulations to Josh and Larry–-you bastards, from F&TS.