Team Owner Breaks One of the Cardinal Rules of NFL Fantasy Football


Daily life is pretty complicated and nerve-wracking It’s could be one of the reasons we look to sports for an escape. And how do we understand sports – simple things like rules. In the case of NFL fantasy football, the leagues have a set of rules we abide by, but some of the unspoken rules of sports also apply. Like not talking about a no-hitter in baseball before the final out. It’s simply not done.

F&TS got an interesting request this week from one of the league’s team owners – Team Vega. He wanted to see a breakdown of the owners who would make the playoffs of the Boldin Beautiful Fantasy League. Larry, newsflash— the season isn’t over. You simply don’t talk about who will make the playoffs before the regular season ends. As any head coach or NFL player would say if asked, we play one week at a time. Vega, just because your team will most likely miss the playoffs, doesn’t mean you “F” it up for the rest of us. Huge bro code violation, you should know better.

From now on Team Vega has been renamed the “Kiss of Death” amongst his bros.

Seattle Mariners starter Felix Hernandez sits alone in the team dugout. Jim Bryant Photo. ©2008. All Rights Reserved.

The Rules of Fantasy Football Are For Life

Team Vega must be applying to become some kind of cooler for our fantasy football league. If you don’t know what or who is a “cooler,” the term comes from old-school gambling or casino business. In gambling vernacular, a cooler is an unlucky individual. He or she is typically an employee, whose presence at the tables usually results in a streak of bad luck for the other players.

In another example, baseball has its own superstitions. Bleacher Report wrote about ignoring a pitcher when he is in the midst of a no-no. “Leaving the pitcher alone during a start is commonplace, but if he has a no-hitter going, you might as well go sit in the other dugout. This superstition is one that stretches outside of the two dugouts, however. Broadcasters risk jinxing things if they reference the no-hitter during the game, so they find every way around saying the words “no-hitter” while still trying to alert the fans to what is happening. If silence is good enough for baseball, a sport that’s been around for over 100 years, superstitions are good enough for Fantasy Football. That’s why from now Team Vegas is the “Kiss of Death.” Congrats on your nickname.

The Consequences

The team owners who are at risk of Vega’s Kiss of Death have been meeting to discuss appropriate punishments for this bro code violation. At the minimum, we are negotiating a text blackout, but other options on the table include, designated all-time bill payer and tip leaver or assigned to the worst seat in the room permanently. The most extreme option we’ve discussed is three slaps at any time good for one year.