Don’t Be One of These Fantasy Football Players or Else


Total Frat Move scored a touchdown with their recent post, “The Guys in Your Fantasy Football League.” The writers must have planted cameras at our recent fantasy football draft because they were dead on with their descriptions of league members. Most importantly, the JParks (the writer) taught us the most important lesson of fantasy football. Don’t be one of these types of fantasy football players or else. You may catch a beat down from a fellow commissioner. Remember owners, “the number one unspoken rule of fantasy football is no one gives a shit about your fantasy team, so don’t talk about your team.”

Who the Hell is Mel Kiper Jr.?

For example, fantasy football players-don’t be the “Stat Guy.” Fantasy football is supposed to be fun and perhaps an entertaining way to win cash. Maybe a championship trophy of some kind. Don’t be the Mel Kiper Jr. wannabe in their league. This player takes fantasy football too seriously. They start prepping the day after the NFL Draft concludes. They waste their money on magazines, listening to every fantasy football podcast, and tweeting non-stop at every NFL insider for advice. This person will also bring an IPA six-pack that no one has ever heard of to the draft. I have to admit, I bring a color coded spreadsheet with me to fantasy football drafts, but thankfully I bring top-shelf bourbon for the festivities.

Fantasy Commissioners Break the Rules Most Often

Do any of the guys in your league sound familiar to these other descriptions? The Commish of your league will ask thirty times between now and Week 17, “Hey, do you have the buy-in money yet? The rest of your league includes ‘The Dick Joker,’ ‘The Guy No One Knows,’ and the ‘Token Hot Girl.’ Broncos’ RB C.J. Anderson had the perfect reaction to reports that he was a fantasy bust…“I don’t go to other people’s jobs and tell them: ‘Hey, you (stink). You’re trash,’” Anderson said, referencing the grief he’s caught. “You can sit me for 17 weeks. It would not bother me one bit. I don’t care,” said Anderson. “I saw something on ESPN: ‘Is C.J. Anderson a fantasy bust?’ I wish I could call ESPN and say: ‘Tell them to drop me. … Every owner can drop me.’”

For more advice and a breakdown of the typical guys in your league, read the full article at Total Frat Move. By the way Commish, you got our fee, so shut the “F” up.