The Clippers vs. Rockets Brawl is “Fugazi” AF!

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If you didn’t watch the Houston Rockets vs Los Angeles Clippers from Staples Center on MLK Day, you missed one the most memorable regular-season games in recent league history. Sure, the Clippers won their fifth straight game. But the drama between these Western rivals was the big story. Brawls in the NBA happen occasionally, but this night featured Trojan horses, secret entrances, ridiculous trash talkers, and the biggest fake tough guy act in basketball history. When you combine everything that happened Monday night, you reach a simple conclusion. The NBA is made up of a bunch of sissified millennials who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag. Let’s break the Rockets and Clippers brawl, from what we know.

The Brawl Blow-by-Blow

The Rockets vs. Clippers matchup was chippy from tip-off. The Clippers have owned the Rockets this season. The teams don’t like each other and Rockets PG Chris Paul‘s presence on Houston doesn’t help the situation. Monday’s game featured stare downs, hard fouls, and NSFW language by CP3 directed at his former teammate Blake Griffin.

Then the fourth quarter happened. Late in the game, CP3 fouled Griffin on a post-up move. The Rockets contented the foul was before the shot, but the refs awarded Griffin an “and 1.” Houston’s bench exploded. Griffin then walked towards the Rockets’ sideline. SB Nation described what happened next, “Griffin offended Mike D’Antoni by brushing by a little too close, drawing out some F-bombs from the Rockets coach. Griffin threw a loose ball off of Eric Gordon while going out of bounds, drawing Trevor Ariza’s ire. The skirmish led to Griffin’s second technical and an ejection in the final minute.”

The Clippers chirping and trash talk got more intense as the final seconds ticked off, led by ‘Clip City’ Daddy’s Boy, Austin Rivers. Yes, that Austin Rivers, who’s never lived up to his Duke Blue Devils hype and has a spot on an NBA roster thanks to his father.

The Main Event

The post-game is where this brawl went off the rails. CP3 was so furious, he decided to take swift action. What did he do? Paul led an invasion of the Clippers’ locker room and used a Trojan Horse. According to Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports and media reports, Rockets C Clint Capela went to the front door of the Clippers’ locker room and knocked. Meanwhile, CP3 led a group of teammates — including James Harden, Gerald Green, and Trevor Ariza — through a secret hallway into the Clippers’ locker room. CP3 then called out Rivers and Griffin. No punches were thrown, but Twitter and TNT’s Inside the NBA exploded with the news of this bizarre confrontation. Shaquille O’Neal and Charles Barkley’s had a classic reaction to the chaotic evening.

The stories emerging from the Rockets and Clippers brawl are hilarious. Capella used as a Trojan Horse, secret hallways, and the Rockets looking to fight Austin Rivers and Blake Griffin. This sounds like a Hollywood movie, not an NBA game. What happened to the days when players fought on the court and threw hands? Remember Knicks guard Chris Childs vs Kobe Bryant, or P.J. Brown vs Charlie Ward?

Game Notes

CP3 returned to the Staples Center to face his former team for the first time since his trade. The Clippers honored him with a video. Clip City played short-handed missing injured players Austin Rivers, Patrick Beverly, Danilo Gallinari, and C DeAndre Jordan. SG Lou Williams, who is playing like an All-Star, scored 31 points and is coming off a 50 point game last week. One word, buckets.