A Looming NFL Fantasy Football Scandal — A Ringer Amongst Us
Something stinks on the South Shore of Long Island. For once, we are not talking about the weed smoke emanating from the Green Acres Mall. We are talking about a potential fantasy football scandal. Along with our season-long Fantasy Football league, some of us also participate in an NFL Pick’Em pool. Of course, it’s strictly for entertainment purposes. We have been doing it for years and while watching the Denver Broncos defeat the San Francisco 49ers, we took a look at our Pick’Em standings. We were absolutely shocked to see that Team Rich is killing it in both leagues.
Mind you, even the sun shines on a dog’s ass somedays, but as Team Weiss so eloquently said, “for years Rich could barely pick his ass and now he is freaking Jimmy the Greek?” For those too young to remember, the late Jimmy the Greek (pictured in the feature) was CBS Sports’ controversial handicapper during the 1970s and early ’80s on The NFL Today. He was the first sports personality to publicly talk about point spreads on national broadcast television. As the Associated Press wrote when he passed away in 1996, “Snyder turned oddsmaking into mainstream entertainment in his 12 years as part of CBS TV’s Sunday afternoon “NFL Today″ pregame shows. He became a popular personality whose predictions were followed closely by his fans.
Unfortunately for Jimmy the Greek, the comments he made about the “black athlete,” genetics, and slavery got him fired.
Fantasy League’s Version of Watergate
Richie has never said anything as controversial as Jimmy the Greek, but something is up. Rich’s sports prognostications have never been this good. For that reason, we suspect Richie has brought in a ringer. We think he’s enlisted his son, who is an awesome athlete and way smarter than his father, to make his picks. So we have dispatched Richie ‘Dick’ Burns to the South Shore for an in-depth investigation. Richie, we are coming for you. Remember the cover-up is worse than the lies. Just ask former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon.
The best Richie could do is come clean. We know you are not this good at fantasy football or picking NFL games against the spread. If our suspicions are proven true, Richie’s punishment will be much worse than resignation or the spectre of impeachment. Trust me. It won’t be pretty. Stay tuned.